WALKING WORKS WONDERS!

By Mary Beatty



As I headed out for my usual morning trek around the perimeter of the neighborhood, I was filled with a sense of well being and wonderment -- at the silence! Too early for dogs to growl and too late for school buses to rumble.

Tucking the sweatshirt closer around my neck I pulled the long fleecy sleeves down over my hands, acutely aware that for the moment, the fog of sadness was thin. I exhaled a deep sigh of gratitude.

Wonder if I can see my breath... But the air was not that crisp. The sky was clear and the fall colors were just beginning to strut. As the sun smiled at me, I could feel the early morning breeze blush my cheeks. Wonder what heaven is really like... Wonder if he knows I am going to be O.K., but I miss him!

Keeping time with my stride, I began to count my blessings. Lord, you know I miss my mate of 47 years. You know I'm so thankful for my comfy home we built together, but it is so quiet -- until I fill it with music! Bless our Frank and Jenny, such capable and loving parents of our two huggable little Grandgirls. What a delightful three year old with her, "Pitzit will you pweese Gramma?" when she scrapes her knee. And such a bright and sensitive Lucy, fast turning six! Lord, it is so touching to watch that little redhead hover over sister when she falls down and gets an owie. "Here, Logan, I'll carry your bag for you, honey! No, Logan, honey let Lucy carry you back to Gramma's and you can choose a pretty band aid. It'll be O.K.!" I wonder how children can absorb so much from their parents!

And I am so grateful for Gary and Laura. Alongside Your strength, they have been my brains and backbone the past four years. Thank you for a son-in-law who voluntarily calls me "Mom." And for a daughter who calls me "Mommy, my role model." I wonder how I can possibly deserve to be loved so much! Thank You from my heart!

Turning the corner, the countdown continued until I had named each of my seven brothers and their families as well as my favorite sister and her family. Next came my nearest neighbors and then my tiny cluster of friends. Finally, my closest Friend.


These old tennis shoes wore wings, for three miles! Oh, Lord, My God, when I in awesome wonder, consider all the worlds Thy hands have made! I could almost taste the words to that song!

At the next street intersection a Monarch Butterfly decided to be included in these blessings! It fluttered right up to me, bobbing with delight, then flew on ahead, soon out of sight.

Before I reached the next block a Hummingbird flitted by and winked a quick message of Joy, A delicious fall morning to you!  And just as quickly, darted on about its duties for the day.

Words to the Doxology came to mind and interrupted the rhythm of my stride. Barely audible, in order to let sleeping dogs lie... I began to softly hum.

Praise God from whom all Blessings flow
Praise Him all creatures here below
Praise Him above the heavenly host
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost!

I could have walked another lap except for this sudden craving to put all this wonderment into words before it vanished! I abruptly turned down my street and headed home.

As I entered the back porch, Sammy greeted me with a Meow, I need a scratch!

"Later, Samantha, I have something very important to do!"

The aroma of fresh brewed coffee hurried me to the kitchen. My fingers, warmed by the steaming mug, were itching for the keyboard in the computer room.


I decided to start out with Microsoft Front Page, groped around a little, then opened a New Page. Fingers resting on the keys, yet alert and eager to explore this writing urge. But first I skimmed the very brief list of files, then stopped short at this wonderfully strange wndrlndbynt.html! What in the world...?

Well, this was a topper to an already perfect morning! Didn't even realize I was tired, but sat mesmerized for a while, lost in the magic of that dark as night background full of musical stars! Leaning closer, I observed a few of these stars were ever so slowly changing color from green to purple to red to blue!

Gazing into that star-bright monitor, my thoughts again turned to Ken, wondering if he might possibly be, at this very moment, skipping from star to star! What kind of job was God depending upon him to do? Does anything in Heaven ever break or need fixed?

I wonder if that normally solemn expression might be erupting into a brilliant contagious smile! He never sang, just occasionally whistled, but loved music. Was he belting out a song or kneeling in adoration and worship to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords! Or was he taking little children on a tour of the Heavenlies in a pristine Model T with golden wheels! Don't snicker! Remember, with God all things are possible!

Wonder if he is able to look down and see that his family is going to be fine, that it was O.K. to go ahead without us?

I wonder if he remembers that he didn't say "Good-bye" to me? This has bothered me these two months he's been gone. Before he got sick, every day of our lives, except times when we were mad, he told me he loved me. I wonder if he felt angry those last months when he couldn't talk? I wonder if his heart prayed when his mind couldn't? I wonder if he remembered that he would wake up frequently in the hospital room, glance to see if I am there, then return to a peaceful sleep? I wonder if he felt afraid?

Those final two days when he didn't open his eyes or respond, I wonder if he knew when Laura, his little Sweetie Pie, was hovering over him, patting his chest, telling him, "It's O.K., Dad, just let go of everything! We love you. Don't worry about Mom, she's going to be all right. Frank and I will see to that. It's O.K. to give up, for once in your life, it's all right to just let it all go. You have wanted to go home. Well, you are almost there, your Heavenly Home, and we'll see you a little later." I wonder if he heard...

I wonder if parents know that their greatest gift to their children is to pass on God's gift of Hope and assurance of eternal life through Christ, that to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord! This Peace surpasses our understanding when you know that to say "Good-bye" here is to say "Hello!" to Heaven!

 

Well, it is probably obvious that by this time I have bypassed the urge to put my walking wonderings into words! So I clicked back to familiar territory.

Emptying the mug of cold coffee, I wondered if I would ever in this lifetime learn enough about my computer to create a website ... if I might one day be able to construct such an amazing page as those twinkling musical stars! I wonder if You, Lord, could inspire me to create something that might soothe or calm or comfort -- or humor -- a troubled soul somewhere out there on the Internet...this vast territory I like to think of as "Godspace"?
I will wander through that question tomorrow ... when I go walking!
 

 9-28-03

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